Guess what? I was surprised by my ENG 490 classmates’ and Dr. Hawkins’s reaction to Murphy’s reference to tutor as psychotherapist and writer as client who is “hurt”. I mean I did not agree with Murphy that all students coming to the center are all “hurt” or having suffered from some kind of “writer’s block or a high degree of inhibiting anxiety associated with the process of producing writing that will be evaluated by others.” They might simply just want someone to talk about or proofread their essay (like I do). Nonetheless, I have no strong reaction in this assertion either. I think she is right in the way that in order for students to be willing to collaborate with us, we tutors somehow need to adapt that soft strategy of the psychotherapist (being curious, emphatic, eager to help, etc). But does Murphy really mean to consider a writing center’s consultant as a therapy?
During the whole session last Wednesday, I kept asking myself: If I were a tutor (FYI, I have not done any tutoring session with anyone yet), who would I regard my client as? Then the word friend immediately popped in. I don’t know if other consultants feel the same way or if my brain works differently from others but I do like imagining myself with my client chatting about the paper together as a friend. My client/friend would be telling me about his/her assignment and I was having a deep interest in what my friend/client was saying. Or I was just digging out (not prying) their past experiences or opinion. Do you feel the same way? Or am I fantasizing thing about being a tutor?
But then another question came to my mind: What if my client did not want to be friend with me? Then I thought “so why the hell they come here (the writing center)?” “Well, it’s not a good of me to be out of temper like that. Maybe they haven’t seen the benefits of having someone to talk about their papers. So as a tutor I need to show them that, no matter what. At least, it would be an opportunity to learn to bring someone who is not interested to talk to get into talking, though it might be frustrating or unsuccessful sometimes.” I settled.
After all, I am not sure if this is the right way to deal with such situation. Given to the fact that I am from a totally different culture, oftentimes I don’t really understand American way of thinking.
I understand the want to make friends with your client. I want to be everyone's friend! However, this just may not work. For example, you talk to a friend differently than a coworker. In my case, I would be more apt to gossip with my friend about the professor (and I have a lot to say about professors) or simply grade their paper, knowing that they really don't care. There is a difference between the way we socialize with professionals and friends, and I think it's important we keep the tutor/student relationship personal. Perhaps after some time we could gain a friendship, but I feel the student's needs for improvement come before making friends.
ReplyDeleteBut, as I said, I want everyone to be my friend! Actually, a friend may be more willing to work with your than a stranger, but I suppose that's another thought for another day.
But can we not just help and be friend at the same time? Yeah friend is more willing to work with us than a stranger. That's why I think we can treat students the same way we treat our friends. y
ReplyDeleteBTW, how would you call someone a friend in American culture? My concept of friendship may be different from yours.
And thanks for yr comment
I definitely agree that there needs to be a certain level of comradery with the person you are helping-kinda of an "I'm on your side" type of relationship but I think that there are certain people that may try to abuse this kind of generosity of spirit. Like you, I would love to be friends with the client because I feel it would make both of us feel more at ease, however, it gets easy to be taken advantage of when it comes to homework and they know you can deliver what they want, which is a good paper/writing assignment.
ReplyDeleteFor this reason, I would say its in your best interest to keep it friendly, but professional. I will say that our students that are struggling with English as a second language do need a bit more attention and more of a sense of friendship to benefit, as they may be more insecure about their work than others.